Somewhere Only We Know

“The Tao Te Ching says, When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. Have you ever struggled to find work or love, only to find them after you have given up? This is the paradox of letting go. Let go, in order to achieve.” – Mary Manin Morrissey


In my seemingly never ending insomnia these days, I've been quote searching for the past 20 minutes.  I stumbled across this one and it really resonated within me.  Proof can be seen when I'd been job searching since January and in March I became so incredibly frustrated.  Subconsciously I suppose I "gave up" for awhile, and as soon as I did, the job I have now came through.  Same thing with Kyler: back in December of last year (probably even before) I was outwardly frustrated with boys and decided to just concentrate on school and do me for a little bit.  And then he came along and completely rearranged my life for the better.  For the best!  I'm still trying to figure out how to apply this quote to schoolwork though... If I start letting homework assignments and papers "go," will I then get straight A's?  Somehow I think my logic is not completely accurate this late at night.

In light of recent events that have taken place with my roommate, I can truly say how much I appreciate my life and everyone in it.  After the numerous birthday wishes from friends and family I felt so loved.  I spent the entire morning and afternoon with Carly at Red Rock.  We went hiking and took some fantastic pictures, singing "Solo" the entire time.  We went out for a late lunch at Chili's where... dun dun dun... I had my FIRST drink.  It was a fruity margarita something-er-rather, so it tasted delicious.  But there wasn't enough alcohol for me to even feel anything.  Then we came home and we were both so pooped and I laid in my bed and took a little nap.  Then I met up with Kyler and we spent the rest of the day together, but didn't do any drinking.  In one way I think I'm glad that I didn't have a typical 21st and drink just for the sake of drinking.  That's just not me.  Maybe one day I'll be into the drinking scene, but not right now at this point in my life.  Ashley and Gordon got me a bottle of whiskey that is just sitting on my desk, unopened.  I think a part of me doesn't want to start drinking because then I will like it too much and will want to do it all the time, resulting in suffering grades and such.  I'm just so concentrated on finishing school on time that drinking doesn't even phase me I guess.  One day I'll jump on the wagon.